The Small Bathroom Window

May 10, 2019 | IN CHRISTINA'S BLOG/POSTS | BY christina

I changed these last few weeks.

And it hurt.

It felt as if my skin stretched beyond what it could.

Change is like another person is trying to come through you and it is not as natural as birth.

It feels wrong.

Your whole body is screaming, no more change.

No more walking on the edge.

No more new things.

Go back to the smallness of your room.

Oh, how I love my bed.

How I love not growing.

How I love the familiar. The routine.

The only thing I like to change… is my hair.

Everything else breaks me for a while. (Click to tweet!)

And I try to get used to my broken pieces being everywhere while the new person is coming through.

Not an easy time.

And all this emerging and growth takes forever.

Being in pieces for that long is not easy and you wake up every day wanting to give up the change and go back to the familiar self.

But I read something really spot on.

When you are tired don’t give up, just rest.

So I went to bed last night, earlier than normal.

Without guilt. I slept. I rested.

And when I woke up this morning my growth wasn’t hurting as much as before.

I didn’t feel broken up, just simply shaken but at peace.

Hurting but with bandaids.

Change hurts. It hurts a lot.

That is why most people choose not to.

Don’t be one of them. Let yourself break.

Know that all this is, is your new identity trying to come through.

I wish she could just come to the front door and ring the bell.

But it is not how change shows up. Is it now?

Instead, she will try to come through that small window in the bathroom.

With an upcoming new life and many small bathroom windows,

Christina

P.S. Just 11 days away before the new edition of SECOND FIRSTS is here. Grab your copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Second-Firsts-Step-Step-Guide/dp/1401957064/


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