How do you find a way to live life on your terms?
How do you shed the armor of pretences?
The manners you have been taught since you can remember.
How do you find your way inside your own dreams vs the ones you have been shown?
The ones that played on television.
The wants your neighbors expressed with their perfect green lawns.
The one dimensional view of life coming from just one part of the world.
How do you see inside the blindness?
How do you hear the whispers of a far away land?
And yet when you do start to see inside the blind spots, and hear the whispers as loud voices, They tell you, you must be having a mid-life crisis.
And I want to cry for us.
We are prisoners with invisible bars.
When we start to see them they tell us we are losing our minds.
We are going through something.
We are grieving. We are aging.
We are not ourselves.
Oh dear friend.
I wonder who are they?
The ones who have done this to us.
When did it start?
The training of the pretence.
The correctness. The hypnosis.
It was done by those we trusted. It was done early.
And it was done to them by those before them, and before them.
So they didn’t know what they were doing to us.
That they were building prison bars around our lives.
When we found ourselves questioning our entire existence.
When we asked what is this all for?
When we stopped trying to impress everyone.
When we saw that the things we were driven to create were not our dreams.
We exploded. We isolated.
We gained weight. We got sick. We got depressed.
I realized this when I was in the midst of my own perfect green lawn.
Right there, I started digging the ground with my foot.
And I couldn’t stop. I got tired of the upkeep. The water bill.
The perfect color of green. I wanted to see daisies.
I cried in the midst of all this greeness, confused as to why I no longer saw its beauty.
You see, I was just waking up not knowing I had been asleep.
But waking up alone.
All of my neighbors still watering their lawns.
I yelled. I called out their names.
I jumped up and down waving at them.
And when they saw me they said, she is having a midlife crisis.
Look at all the holes her lawn has.
And here it is, the most crucial part of waking up.
You have to know who is the one really sleeping.
Is it the person watering their lawn or the person digging their feet in the ground looking for daisies?
With a dozen daisies,
P.S. The first coffee date episode on the Dear Life with Christina Rasmussen podcast drops tomorrow. I answer your question about the afterlife.
Make sure you are subscribed on itunes.
Or go to listen here on Saturday morning: www.dearlifepodcast.com/coffee