The Long Way Home

October 11, 2019 | IN CHRISTINA'S BLOG/POSTS | BY christina

It has taken me over 13 years to feel a longer lasting sense of happiness. 

You might want to yell out but Christina, that’s too long of a journey. 

And I will say that is the good side of life after loss. 

Not many of us ever make it back to a happy life. 

You see, after a traumatic loss when we feel happiness again, it comes in short bursts. 

You may have a minute of feeling good.

And then back to feeling sad. 

As time goes by, you may experience feeling good for a whole day. 

A few years in, you could have a good week. 

What I noticed from my own life was that I never really felt good for a long period of time. 

Longer than a few hours. Longer than a day. 

I was being chased by so many demons born by trauma. 

And they were complex demons.

Demons nobody mentioned.  

No support groups. No friends. No books. 

Nobody really talked about the unspoken way of living after loss. 

It was almost as if I could never catch my breath. 

Or fully exhale. 

I kept trying different ways to live life. 

Build new homes. New relationships. 

New skills. New identities. And they were all needed. 

They were a part of learning how to live again. 

As long as I was not going to give up. 

Or stop hoping for a full exhale. 

I would finally get here. 

And I did a few weeks ago. 

I started to notice that the heavy weight I was carrying inside my chest especially in the mornings was lessened. 

I felt lighter. 

Things that felt difficult before, were not so difficult anymore. 

I had less panic attacks. 

Less heart palpitations. 

And less emotional eating. 

And yes I noticed. Something had indeed changed. 

Finally this last reentry brought with it a sense of peace. 

I wish I could tell you I got here earlier. 

That I found a shortcut.

But, it is better late than never. 

Many people never find long lasting happiness after loss.  

For those who make it, you just witnessed a miracle. (Click to tweet!)

If you are still carrying the burden in your chest just like I was for so long, keep going. 

Keep rebuilding. 

Changing things up. 

Until you notice happiness staying longer and longer. 

Until everyday life is not so hard anymore. 

When you go to bed at night and you can’t wait for tomorrow morning to come. 

When you want to go out and have fun instead of staying in, alone. 

It may have taken me a long time to get here, but I am grateful to make it here after all. 

With a longer lasting happiness,

Christina

P.S. Registration for my Temple Journey weekend at 1440 Multiversity this March is now open. 

You will spend a weekend with me learning how to connect with your loved one. 

You will leave with new memories, new understanding of life and death and last but not least, you will learn how to co create a new life with your loved one and the cosmos. 

Register here: https://www.1440.org/programs/faculty-led-programs/personal-growth/self-discovery/temple-journey

You can call 1440 Multiversity with any questions about rooms here: +1-888-727-1440 

The Temple journey process is inside my book Where Did You Go?


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