How To Take Off Your Clothes And Claim Your Destiny

January 18, 2019

All of a sudden, I found myself in a place without the paralyzing fear I had been feeling. It was like oxygen in my lungs. Euphoria. Ecstasy even. Imagine life without fear. Even just imagining this, brings you to a deep breath. Yes. At first it was truly a surprising feeling but I was enjoying it. And spending my days in this place had been awesome. But as you know by now, I love to discover how change takes place. Not only so I can understand my own journey but also so I can help others get there. What truly takes place just before life changes? How is any kind of change possible? Especially for something as important as fear being gone, even if it is a short term experience. I started to back track my steps. By the way, today is the one month anniversary of our book, Where Did You Go? This book has been the most liberating experience for me in this last decade. As I was driving to work this morning, it hit me. I got it. I know now why the fear was lifted. It is as if I took all of my clothes off and ran around naked for a while and life was not so frightening anymore. You are probably thinking, what in the world is she talking about? Here she goes again. But it really is the closest metaphor I can find. When I came out with my new book which is truly the way I understand reality, ultimately the last piece of the puzzle of life after loss, I felt like I had to be without my clothes in front of a lot of people. Speaking my truth. In the days prior to the book release I would go to bed at night and be so grateful tomorrow was so far away. 8 hours away. That’s how scared I was. And look at me now, maybe still standing there without my outfit and being ok with it. So, here are a few things to remember about fear and how to live without it. 1. Anticipating taking your clothes off may be more scary than actually doing it. Thinking about fear takes much longer time than being afraid. Being afraid is mostly short lived. 2. Who you become when you anticipate your fear is your shadow. Who you become when you confront your fear is your destiny. (Click to tweet!) 3. When you wait in anticipation of fear, the waiting becomes anxiety. Paralysis. Then it moves to shame. Hiding. Forgetting what you were supposed to do to begin with. Amnesia sets in. 4. And who you were supposed to become, becomes someone else’s destiny. Yes, you read right. We can miss out on our destiny. By prolonging the clothes removal. By being afraid to be in our boldness. Destiny needs expression and a vessel to express itself. If you are not going to say yes to it, it will go and find another expresser, carrier. Creator. 5. Destiny is part of the collective to begin with. And it distributes itself accordingly. I remember years ago an interview Elizabeth Gilbert did on the show On Being, where she talks about how she didn’t write a fictional story she was supposed to, and it found its way to someone else. The exact same story. Someone else wrote it. So be sure that you really do want to stay in the waiting room, the hiding, the anticipation of fear. Because your destiny, your plan, your dream, your wish will go to someone else who is ready to go out into the wild and look fear in the eyes. As for me, I realized that running around naked did not kill me. It gave me my destiny. It made me me. It liberated me. It allowed for all the things I was holding in to be expressed. With no clothes, Christina

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The Guide To Being Outrageous Before, After And While Grieving

January 11, 2019

I have to tell you. I am getting too used to living outside the box. With the minority. From outside the mainstream. From the corner of the universe. As a matter of fact, it is kind of fun to say outrageous things. Shock your friends and family members. I am enjoying this. More than I ever thought I would. Imagine discovering that living outside the box is more fun than inside of it. Oh, my world. What was I thinking for the last 46 years? Keeping people happy. Staying in my lane. Pleasing everyone. And all this time this new existence had been waiting for me. Destroying the idea of me in other people’s minds has been the most liberating thing I have ever done. (Click to tweet!) And now that I have done it for a few weeks. Wow. It is freeing. Mind-bending. Healing. It all started when I had to write the book I didn’t want to write. Where Did You Go? Took me outside of my box and threw me so far away that I could never find my way back. This is it. The boxed in life is over. I put together a little guide for you so you can find your way out of that box of yours also. Brace yourself. The Guide To Being Outrageous Before, After And While Grieving. Yes, you read right. This is a guide for all humans even before they experience tragic reasons to live fully. Enough with waiting to be shaken so much that we have to change our lives only when something terribly bad happens. Here we go. 1. Are you making too many people happy? If most people in your life are happy with you there is a very good chance that you are not living your truth. Of course, there are exceptions to this. Just make sure you are the exception. And if that’s the case, good for you. If not, keep reading. 2. Who are you afraid you are going to lose? Here is a fact for you. The ones who love you will still love you when you go outside your box. They will recognize you. Follow you out and come with you. The so-called outrageous things you are doing, are not outrageous for them. They are just more parts of you they can love. 3. How much do you really care about yourself? One of the biggest discoveries I made was that I did not really care about myself much at all. Pleasing other people directly or indirectly makes you the last choice. If, even a choice at all. Once you start to make the top of the ‘pleasing people’ list. You actually start to love yourself. I never thought self-love can come from outrageous actions and fearless choices. I am sitting here shaking my head with this insight. Even depression can lift. Even weight loss can happen. It is one of the most beautiful experiences I have ever had. 4. Why are you putting yourself and your life on stage? Fear comes to you when you are worrying about what other people will think of your decision. What will they think about your competency, your abilities? Failure is truly just a stage show. Not a behind-the-scenes experience. We fail in front of people. But we fail ourselves behind-the-scenes. The stage show is the ego’s life, not your soul’s. The soul just wants to express itself in art, science, words, and creations. It doesn’t care what other people will think about its creations. It is about expression, not measurement. I've had some harsh words with my ego lately. I told her to stop. Enough with it all. You see my ego will keep trying to put a box around me wherever I go. I just have to outrun her. And so do you. 5. Is your need to be liked more important than your loyalty to yourself? I always thought that loss taught me to be myself more. To live life my way. And it did. And I have. But did I really live life completely on my terms? Did I really live the way I deeply needed? Nope. I still needed for everyone to like me. I wanted to be a good friend. The likable teacher. The worthy partner. The intensely present mother. The list is long. When you stop caring about being chosen, being important to others, being worthy of someone’s attention, you die in your old life and you are born in a much bigger one. Your goals change. Your dreams get updated in an instant. You actually find out who you really are. You say things that surprise you. You do things that shock even you. You might as well change your name too because if you keep choosing yourself versus the world you become someone else so radically different that the only thing that will stay the same might just be the name you were given. 6. How do you start to live life out of the box? And if you are wondering how to begin your life out of the box, here is what I would say--sit down and list all the things you do for others that you don’t enjoy at all. Not the things you do to pay your bills. Not talking about that. This is not this kind of blog. This is about the thousands of things you do every day that you don’t enjoy but it keeps you on stage. A very important distinction. So, for example: For your job: List all the things you do every day at the office that you dislike that you do because of how it looks to your boss, to your peers, and to your team. They hold back the dragon in you. I know what you're thinking. The dragon? Yes, the dragon. This is about living outrageously and boldly, not about just being happy and content. You have a dragon inside of you that has been held back because you think if he/she is let loose the stage will be messed up and everyone will think you've lost your mind. Make a mess. They will recover. It is your life. Not theirs. For your home: If you live in a house you don’t enjoy but worry what your kids, your partner, your friends will think about your move, that goes on your list. Get it sold. For your relationships: If you are in a relationship that is good enough but doesn’t deeply satisfy you, yup, it goes on your list. When you move out of the relationship box you are freeing two people at once. This is an act of kindness. Yup. For your closet: If you have clothes in your closet you wear because they fit in with everyone else’s perception of you, it goes on that list. This one might be harder even than the others. You probably don’t even know what kind of clothes you would choose for yourself. It’s been that long. One last thing for you to remember. True self-expression is a human act. Without it, we perish. Without it, we self destruct. Without it, we only exist in shadows. A shadow existence can destroy a whole life. With suicide. With crime. With lack of care for our environment and world. For other humans. For other planets. For other species. Yup. I am going to keep things out of my box. This is much more important than a blog, or some silly self-help advice. Stay out of your box, far away from your own shadow. And if you ever find yourself in someone else’s shadow. Run. Run faster than your legs can take you. My wish for you is that you find your way to days so outrageous that you pinch yourself. To new friendships with people who like you not because you fit in their life but because they love how they fit in yours. May you inspire other people’s adventures out into the wild and open seas. And last but not least, you are born out of an expression of someone else’s quest to choose themselves. Now it is your turn. And if you have gone through tragic losses like I have, the longer you wait to step out of the boxes, waiting rooms and shadows, the less you will like yourself. This is truly the most personal decision you will ever make. And the only one that can ever save your life. With outrageousness, Christina P.S. Grab my new book Where Did You Go? and journey with me and many others in our private Where Did You Go? Facebook group. The link is in the resources section of the book. See you all there. Journeying with all of you to other worlds has been one of the most fulfilling and outrageous experiences of my life. You don’t know how much this new book has saved my life. https://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-You-Go-Life-Changing/dp/0062689622

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All the things that Mary Poppins is teaching us

January 4, 2019

I saw Mary Poppins Returns movie trailer appearing every day as I was getting ready for the release of Where Did You Go? But I never put the two together. How could have I known? How could I have foreseen such a thing? That they were not only being released at the exact same time, but that people from all over the world would write to tell me how many parallels they have been finding between the book and the movie. The joy and excitement that was shared in these messages was palpable. The connections were indeed many, and some quite extraordinary, all the way to the yellow rubber ducky. For those reading the book you know what I mean. One thing that I learned in the last few weeks is that there are some things that are so beautifully divine and profound that we just sit back in awe of it all. Today’s letter is about all the things that Mary Poppins has always been teaching us. And as it happens Where Did You Go? Also.   1. Mary Poppins: Anything can happen if you let it. Understanding the dynamic between you and the world around you is a fundamental part of your journey ahead. Acknowledging that you are both the observer and creator of your world will allow you to let incredible and magical things happen in your life. Miracles left and right. Abundance of synchronicities daily. Anything can happen, really. From the lottery win to your dream job. To a life after loss that is beyond anything you can imagine.   2. Georgie Banks: I miss mother. Jack: If ever I lose my way, I just look up. The key here is that we seek guidance and wisdom from those we lost. They are there to guide us in their own way. A way we can only recognize. Ask for their help when you need it. You are never alone. Missing them is remembering them. Missing them is them letting us know that love transcends time and space. (Click to tweet!)   3. Annabel Banks: Everything is possible. Mary Poppins: Even the impossible. There is only one way to make something impossible. Seeing it as impossible. Everything you see is a subjective experience. Everything that exists in your life is your version of reality. When we remove ourselves from this life and go further out and see everything from our higher self or as I call it in the book Superwatcher Self we are able to observe that the structure of our reality is not fixed. It can be changed to include impossible things. I struggled with this concept for the longest time. And when I slowly started making my seemingly impossible dreams come true then my reality started to change with it.   4. Jane Banks: Are you sure this is quite safe? Mary Poppins: Not in the slightest. Ready! Off we go. Our brain will tell us how unsafe it is to believe in a new reality. It will first try to tell you, that you are a fool. People will laugh at you. Make fun of you. You will lose your credibility, your friends if you tell them that we never die. That we can change our life if we believe in the impossible. That last one, they will call it wishful thinking. Then if you keep going, they will tell you that it is dangerous to believe in such things. To live your life from a place of miracles, divinity and seeing the unseen. They will also tell you that the unseen hides danger. You see, all of these are beliefs that are constructed by us to keep us inside boundaries.  We have to start the journey not knowing if it is safe, or real. We have to trust something inside of us so we can begin. And maybe just maybe we can change the things we are afraid of. I am not saying we can go as far as to remove fear and loss. But we can bring in more good things.   5. Mary Poppins: Open different doors. You might find a you there that you never knew was yours. There are so many different versions of you. And me. And everyone you meet. Your story has many versions. Versions that exist at the same exact time. There is a place within us that can open different doors, choose different stories and walk different paths. Don’t be misled by the reality in front of you that tells you there is no door. No other way. There are indeed infinite ways. Infinite doors.   Even those who have never experienced anything profound, deep down they know the truth about our reality. The truth of our reality lives in movies, novels, stories on the big and small screen. Even if we try to live our days without magic and wonder it will spill through in other ways. You see, it is inside the collective consciousness. The truth can never be hidden.   If you haven’t seen the movie go see it. If you haven’t read my new book go read it. And if you don’t do either I have no doubt that you will experience miracles that will make you question everything.   Until next week, enjoy looking for the place where lost things go. It is where we come from and where we return to. It is home. Always has been and always will be.   With wonder, Christina P.S. Where Did You Go? is now available, click here to order.

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How to Wake Up your Dragon in 2019

December 28, 2018

You have to have a strong sense of self. A clear picture of who you are, what you stand for. What it is you believe in. You have to be tree-like, like the trees with huge trunks, that can’t be destroyed in bad weather. You must claim your place in the world, and not be shaken or fallen. Did you know that the world’s oldest tree is in Sweden and it is nearly 10,000 years old? The oldest tree has a very interesting way of surviving harsh weather conditions. It has the ability to make a new trunk when the old one has died. It pushes the old one out, and the new one comes in. Nice. The second oldest tree is nearly 5,000 years old. This one doesn’t push out a new trunk. It keeps the same old trunk. It lives in California. But its exact location is a secret. So it can be protected from the world. One might wonder why would anyone want to destroy the oldest tree? But there are millions of people who would burn it, cut it, and be proud of doing so. Don’t ask why. Don’t wonder. Just like I don’t want you to wonder when others try to destroy who you are. Your sense of self will be questioned many times. It will be attacked. It will be shoved to the ground. You have to persevere. You have to be like the very old tree, the 10,000 year old. When they least expect it push out a new trunk but still be the same tree. This last year I learned so much about publicly being my true self. My dragon self as you will soon find out. And since this is the last message in a bottle for 2018, I want to share my 5 dragon truths with you.   1. Don’t eliminate yourself. We live in a world that likes to keep things the same. And I am not just talking about the larger world, but the world within your family, your friend group, your workplace, you know the micro cosmos. When you try to say, write, speak of something that is not just out of the ordinary but outside of their scope, they may shame you. Call you names. Punish you. Ignore you. Run away from you. Once you get brought down, you quickly learn that speaking your mind hurts and you lose your preciousness by trying to be like everyone else. You hide the weird thoughts, the strangeness of you so they don’t take you down again. Instead, you take yourself down so that your tree is hidden and protected. Just like the tree in California. But what if I told you that you can build a new trunk and you don’t have to hide. Wouldn’t you come out and be yourself, and show off your weird ability to push out a new trunk? I bet you would. 2. The dragon is kept asleep. We live in a seemingly simple world. People wake up, go to work, come home, have dinner, go to bed and sleep their way to the next day. They watch the silly news, some of them believe in a cult-like religion, some don’t believe in anything. Some just hover in the middle, hiding. Thinking that everything is manila. Grey. But it really isn’t. Underneath the simplicity of our lives, a big dragon is kept asleep. Systems are in place to keep the dragon mind from waking up. And this is when knowing your true self is key. If you are a dragon whisperer you have to stay awake. Until you meet all the other dragon whisperers and your true selves can’t be so easily dismissed. But it is a hard thing to do, at first anyways.   3. Truth tellers, find true lovers. This has been the biggest truth I learned this year. As you bring your true self further out telling everyone what’s on your mind, the people who love you, will keep walking with you. They will stand by your side and be proud of your truth telling. The ones who pretend to love you and like you, will hide fast. And they will do it very quietly. If you blink you will miss their hiding places. Those never liked you, loved you, respected you. Forgive them. This is about them, not you. They live their life trying not to wake up their dragon. Seeing you waking up yours makes them scared. That’s all. They do have special, weird abilities like you but they can’t find their true self and don’t really wish for their dragon to wake up. It’s ok. We will come back for them, when our dragon selves are completely awake.   4. It is all about longevity. At first, when you start telling your truth and being yourself it’s gonna hurt my friend. Like a lot. It’s gonna hurt everywhere. And it will destroy all the things you have worked so hard to build. But remember it is only destroying the things you built when your dragon was sleeping. (Click to tweet!) Those things were fine, but they were not what you were destined for. Unfortunately, this is where you will feel loss, grief and you will have to learn how to mourn the old life. It is a part of the dragon waking. When your true self is here, it knows all the non-truths about your life, and it tries to wipe them out fast. That is when you start to lose jobs, money, friends, status and you have to keep yourself inside the truth. It is like jumping in a tub with ice cubes. Or inside the ocean in the winter. You are going to be cold, and you will want to get out. Don’t. The freeze will not last.   5. Forgive those whose dragons are still sleeping. This is when it goes from the freeze to the float. From rejection to acceptance. From the asleep to the awake. From routine to the dragon. After you tell your truth and you go through all of the above you have finally escaped the cycle. Some of the other awakened dragons start to find you. And together you are like the tree that pushes out the new trunk. Do you know what happens then? This is my favorite part. The people who hid themselves when they first saw your dragon, unhide themselves and start to wave. They try to sneak back in your life, pretending to have been friends with your dragon all along. You must forgive them. And take them by the hand so they too can wake up. You see, they don’t even know they are asleep. And seeing your dragon fire may get them startled and awake for the first time in forever.   My dragon woke up fully 2 years ago, when I said yes to writing Where Did You Go? The rest is history. May you find your dragon self in 2019 and make it through the freeze, rejection, shame and the grief of your old life. I promise you my dragon friend, it will be worth it. With truth and millions of future awakened dragons, Christina P.S. Just in case you don’t own the WDYG book just yet: https://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-You-Go-Life-Changing/dp/0062689622/ I can’t wait to see your dragon fire. And this letter is especially for you if you have lost your true identity in the midst of a very hard life. Your dragon is waiting to be awakened by you.

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