I don’t know how it comes back, but it does. It comes knocking on your door. Even though you can barely notice it at first. I am talking about the feeling of wanting to live again. I know you never thought it would come back. You didn’t believe it could find you. But it did. It found you crying in front of the TV. And it made the movie you were watching, right for what you needed. It found you taking your dog for a walk, in the evening. And it made the leaves move a little more as you passed along. It secretly followed you around for awhile, trying hard not to make you notice as you have been a little afraid of feeling things again. You have been saying no to things that remind you of what it was like to be happy. Afraid of breaking that heart of yours again. But do you know what the feeling of life is made of? It is made of the thing that made the earth, and all the planets. It is that strong. And if you let it, it will try to walk by your side instead of behind you. It will sit on the couch with you and watch a comedy. It will take you on a bike ride on a Saturday morning. It will find a way in. For as long as your heart beats, and your lungs have air in them, the feeling of life will not rest. But I know what you are thinking. You are younger than me Christina, you don’t know what it’s like for me. And yes, oh my dear one, I hear you. But, the feeling of life doesn’t care about how old you are. As long as you are here, it is here too. You just have to notice it. Can we try? Just pause for a second right here, right in the middle of the sentence. Feel. Feel the brokenheartedness. Feel the grief. Now just move your attention a little bit on the side, right next to grief. That is where it is. The feeling of wanting to live again. Laugh again. It is there like it always has been. I know you know this. But let me remind you. It doesn’t matter how old you get, the younger, childish and foolish you, is in there. Calling life. (Click to Tweet!) That is how life found you. The you inside doesn’t have an age. It just is. Timeless. Ageless. Don’t forget. Don’t you forget. You are in there, hoping, praying that life won’t give up knocking. Knock, knock. Can you come out and play? Life whispers. I weaken and perish, I crumble and vanish without you friend. Life says. Play with me today and I will keep us both strong. Visit with me and I will gift you a new life. With new life knocking, Christina The post It Found You Crying in Front of the TV appeared first on Second Firsts. Source: SF
Read MoreI was completely blind before loss. Actually no, not blind. Hypnotized. Going about my day, as a wife, mother of toddlers, friendly neighbor, you know the rest. Living but not really living. And even after loss, I tried to go back to the hypnosis. Get the job I should be getting. Have people over for dinner, you know, do the right thing as a neighbor and friend. Believing that what I had before loss was more valuable than what I got after. This reality blows. As you know when you see someone you love die, not much can put you back to hypnosis. I tried to go back. Be a ‘normal’ person. And it hurt like hell. The hypnosis hurt nearly as much as the loss of my husband. It was as if now, I was awake inside my hypnotized self. Before I had no idea there was even a hypnosis. I had no idea that my actual brain is part of that hypnosis, even how this dimension we live in, is an illusion. When I started speaking about Life Reentry® and the brain 7 years ago people found it hard to understand the hypnosis, the Waiting Room, the Survivor self. Yes, I developed a whole set of tools so I could understand what the heck was going on. You see, there is a threshold, and your brain lets you out so much, then it closes the door and throws you back into the hypnosis. (Click to Tweet!) Keep reading, please. It is the voice that wants to get you out of the waiting room and tell you the following. You are made of stardust. For real. This is a real thing. Every human is made of star stuff. We came from a place outside this reality. You can call it God. Source. Divinity. Universe. All of these names are true. This place we all came from is not a three dimensional world. It is not like this. Here. It is very different. Did you know there are many dimensions? And we live in the third? Someone emailed me yesterday and told me how much they love my letters every Friday, but when she got the email with the Beyond Reentry class she said it was all “crackpot spirituality stuff.” The crackpot is the hypnosis my dear. The crackpot is the not knowing that you are not this body, and you are not this reality. Now that I got this off my chest, let’s move on. I have asked you to look at the starry night before but this time, I am going to ask you to look up and see something else. We are surrounded by something called dark matter and it occupies, maybe close to 95 percent of our universe. And we don’t even know what it is. For this reality here to be the only reality it would have to show up a little more normal don’t you think? Would we be hanging upside down on a blue dot in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by a substance that is unknown, if this was all there was? Nope, it would all be flat, and there would be no weird dark stuff. And you know what this also tells me? That there is a good chance that death is not a thing outside of this reality. The people we lost are all hanging out somewhere else, looking different of course. And ok, they have no bodies. But their essence is intact. And your consciousness can interact with theirs. Right now. You want to try? Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Ask your beloved person a question. Wait for a couple of seconds….. Did you get an answer that came in as a thought? Yup. I knew you would. Write it down. Your consciousness interacted with the consciousness of your person. And don’t let your brain tell you it was not real, that it was just a thought. It is trying to keep you inside the hypnosis. Remember that. And of course, what is the definition of ‘crackpot.’ Here is what the dictionary had to say ‘an eccentric or foolish person.’ And here is one more. My favorite, ‘a person who is, unrealistic.’ With an unrealistic foolishness, Christina PS. And for any people like myself my brain science, quantum physics class about death and the creative universe starts this Wednesday register here. We have quite a few foolish people like me already there ready for the journey beyond. The post Grief Woke Me Up and Now I Can’t Go Back to Sleep appeared first on Second Firsts. Source: SF
Read More“How long does grief last?” Someone asked me the other day. “You still write about it Christina, 11 years later. Are you still grieving?” I don’t know, but something happens to me when I am asked these questions. I want to start laughing out loud. You know that ironic laughter, that insinuates that this is a ridiculous question. But then again it’s not their fault, is it now? Everyone wonders about how long someone should grieve or not grieve. As you know I have my own ideas about this. But I did a simple search online with the words “How long does grief last?” and oh my, I found so much out there. So much repetition from advice given in the 70s and 80s and 90s. And even in the last 20 years, the new advice given are just rewrites of the old advice. Are you ready for this? Here are some examples. Word for word. –There is no set timetable for grief. You’ll probably start to feel better in 6 to 8 weeks. The whole process can last anywhere from 6 months to 4 years. (you can see the issue here) –Grief itself may last a lifetime. (thanks for the hope) -Gradually, at their own pace, most people do find themselves adjusting to their loss and slipping back into the routines of daily life. (I call that the Waiting Room) -There are 4 tasks of mourning: accept the reality of loss, experience the pain of grief, adjust to the life without the person who died, withdraw emotional energy from the person who died. (hmmm, well now that you mentioned let me just withdraw my energy from the person I love) And then I found my way also to some decent advice as well, like: -grief has no timetable -your grief is individual -take time to go for a walk -seek out caring people But even these mean nothing to someone who is deeply missing their person. Even the good advice can not make anyone feel better. So, first I want to respond to the people who ask me the question “are you still grieving?” The actual question is and always has been wrong. It doesn’t exist. It doesn’t mean anything to anyone who has lost the person they have been with for decades. It’s like asking them, are you still sad about never seeing the person you lost? So what should the question be? The question I love getting is “how do you balance your new life with your old life after 11 years? How do you honor both? How are you able to access your grief while going on an adventure at the same time? A few people have also said to me “You need to at some point stop writing about grief, this keeps you grieving.” Now can you hear me laughing again? Loudly. My mission to help millions of people exit the waiting room of loss and find their way to a new life does not keep me grieving. It gives me purpose and it allows me to honor what happened to me in the best way possible. Me talking about my husband who died 11 years ago makes me happy. I love to share about who he was. But have you noticed something? I am not sharing my story of loss. Almost never. The actual story of loss, or the moment of impact as I call it is a very traumatic event that if we revisit over and over again we build a solid place for it inside our brain. We actually get attached to that location and we keep going back to it. It is almost like a trap. Going back to that story of the moment we experienced our loss actually keeps us in a state of automatic mourning. How can we stop this from happening? Don’t attend support groups that keep asking you to retell your story every time someone new joins the group. There are members of support groups who are there for years, and they keep identifying their story with their identity. There was someone I remember clearly from the very first support group I went to, he had been there for 4 years, retelling his story of loss. When someone asks you whether you are still grieving or not hold their hand. And say “I know where this question is coming from, but it is kind of irrelevant to my life. What I am experiencing is more than just grief, it is the falling down and the getting back up on a daily basis. It is the hiding inside my house and the crazy outing when I force myself out. It is the not knowing of myself with the knowing that I am becoming. It is the smile with tears combined. It is the remembering while creating a new life. I call it Life Reentry®, and that will never end. So next time you ask me about how I am doing, ask me how is my life reentry going. Will you? (Click to Tweet!) With reentering and reentering and reentering, Christina P.S. Our Beyond Reentry class starts in a few days. Register here. If you have any questions please hit reply. The post Don’t Ask Me How Long Grief Lasts appeared first on Second Firsts. Source: SF
Read MoreIt feels quiet. Listening to Billie Holiday, I’ll be seeing you. A few days away from finishing my next book, Where did you go? The book I have been afraid to write but found the courage to do so. I found this place, outside of this world we live in, and took everyone there. Risking it all. Shedding who I had been, so I could become. Once again. Become another me. So I could feel this. What I feel right now. Expressed. Fully expressed. In the way I had never let myself be before. Something happens to you when you give yourself permission to express the next you. The next self that arrived after who you were. When you see that next self showing up you hold on to the self you have now. You hold on tightly. Because you don’t want to lose yourself as well. As him. As her. As whoever you lost. But the next self is here. Trapped inside of you. Waiting for your old self to open the door. What a thing to experience. Losing your old self so you can gain the new. What is so hard about this is that you don’t know how the new self will do in life. You don’t know if you will even enjoy being this next self. My next self had been here for a while, and I kept rejecting her. You see, she sounded a little insane. A little too much. And on top of it, she was much riskier than my old self. That is who I have been afraid of. My next self. I was afraid of me. The next me. But in 10 days she is truly coming to life. The book she wrote goes to the publisher. And it feels like….Oh, my friend, it’s like the heavens open wide. It’s like I am tasting freedom for the first time. I held on to the old me way too long. Now, you. Yes, you. Tell me about your next self. How long have you known about her?…Or him?… You have one body in this life but many selves occupy it over time. (Click to Tweet!) Don’t let one occupant overstay their welcome. Let the next self in. With the presence of the next self, Christina P.S. My new Beyond Reentry (Temple) class is now open for registration. For more information go here. The post Have You Been Afraid of Your Next Self? appeared first on Second Firsts. Source: SF
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