I was having dinner with a good friend the other night and I was sharing a few more thoughts that I usually share and it hit me.
It just literally hit me over the head.
I had stopped sharing my personal thoughts and feelings with others.
I was used to sharing the superficial self.
After the dinner I was trying to figure out when did that start happening?
And why.
It has been happening for years now.
It started when I had to change faster than the people around me because of the loss.
It was like I was spinning while everyone else was walking by.
You see the spinning after loss doesn’t include the walkers of a routine life.
So when the spinning slowed down and I was able to join the walk, trying to explain how dizzy I was from the spinning was not easy.
The walkers had never experienced a long spin cycle.
Spinning for as long as you and I have, alters everything.
When you join the walk again you are no longer a walker but a spinner.
Spinners don’t walk like the walkers.
We make circles around the walkers.
So then life goes on, without really talking about what’s inside our spin.
And now and again you will meet another spinner and say more than you normally say.
When one spinner can see the other the superficiality drops.
And you can talk from inside the spin.
When you are able to spin with someone you no longer feel alone.
And you don’t have to pretend to walk anymore.
I am not here to tell you not to share your thoughts with the people in your life who love you.
You can if you want, and I do sometimes.
But know that it is only natural to feel as if they don’t get it.
They can’t.
They have never span like you.
Life after loss spins you around like a tornado, nothing is the same after. (Click to Tweet!)
My life after loss, has had many tornadoes, some I created, some came to me.
Spinning is part of life now, even after you healed, reentered and understood what happened to you.
Now you must learn to be in the spin and find other spinners to share your heart out.
Anything else is not worth your time.
You are my spinners and I am yours.
And I am so grateful for that.
With lots of spinning,
Christina
P.S. Order the Where Did You Go? book here: https://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-You-Go-Life-Changing/dp/0062689622
