I am finally understanding why blanket statements such as grief lasts forever are hurtful.
These statements hijack the truth of what it really means to grieve.
What really happens to us when we grieve for years?
What changes in our brain?
In our immune system. In our heart.
Who do we become?
When amateurs say that grief lasts forever and how we never recover from it, they steal our growth.
They steal our potential transformation.
They steal understanding of what the real catastrophe is.
It’s not whether grief lasts forever.
I wish it was that. Only that.
Grief is actually a natural part of our human nature.
Grief is the healthy portion of what happens to us after we experience a loss.
Grief is as natural as tears. As real as love.
It is a longing, a mourning and a sadness that comes through when we miss someone from our lives.
What lasts forever is something much worse.
It’s panic. Anxiety. Stuckness. Fear.
If we let grief be unspoken. Unshared.
And we don’t bring it along with us as we re enter life we will experience a forever feeling but it won’t be grief.
It will mimic grief.
It will be hidden under dumb blanket statements.
It will confuse us.
We won’t know how to save ourselves.
We won’t know why some of us feel suicidal.
Why do we feel like we can’t breathe?
These amateur writers, teachers, speakers, professionals put it all under one blanket.
The grief blanket.
And what we are experiencing is not that.
It’s depression. Fear. Panic.
This is what can last forever.
Grief becomes something monstrous when they throw all of our feelings under one blanket.
And nobody is talking about the real monster.
We can feel sad, we can mourn, we can remember, we can cry but the other things that we feel are not grief they are the things grief leaves behind.
If a doctor, a therapist, a friend, tells you that your grief will last forever,
They are much more dangerous and they need tending to. (Click to tweet!)
They need healing.
They need to be seen for what they are.
So they don’t last forever and take our lives from us.
Don’t let them leave you in the waiting room.
It’s not grief that destroys us, it is the world of liars and illusionists that are asleep under their own blankets that were given to them by someone else.
With hope,
Christina
P.S This week’s Dear Life Podcast is about Near Death Experiences. A must listen.
