I was dreaming last night that I was writing to you.
I could see the words, the sentences being written.
But, I woke up this morning and I could not remember what I wrote to you.
I know it had to do with how our world is right now.
It had to do with giving you strength.
I was asking you how you were doing.
I was worried about you.
It’s been so hard lately. Hasn’t it?
It is like we are all walking into a forest in the dark, like people do in the movies.
Where you don’t know which way to turn.
You have never been in a forest such as this before.
Every day you think you are nearing the edge of it, but it keeps going.
Even I have not liked this forest.
Whether you are someone without a job, without your person, without your health, without money to spend, and without hope, it feels like there is nowhere to go to feel better.
The forest feels like a prison. It is unlike anything I have seen.
I remember when I was a kid my grandmother was talking to me about World War II, the famine, the bombs.
She used to hide wood for the fire in her basement even after the war ended.
Just in case she needed it again.
She also hid money under her mattress.
She lived in this post traumatic world even if things got a lot better.
She never really reentered from fear.
I know this is not war, or famine or anything as bad as the wars our grandparents endured but there is a sense of not knowing what happens next.
A sense of endless fear.
Even if some of what is going on is making our future better.
Even if the sun will be waiting for us somewhere when this ends.
The darkness makes you forget the light. Doesn’t it?
And this is why I look at the sun rising every day.
Why I seek to find voices with kindness and compassion to listen to. (Click to tweet!)
And why every night while sitting under a big tree as it gets dark, I ask my own voice to say the last few words for the day.
As it is the only voice I can hear when I am alone trying to find my way out.
Listen to your own voice too. Listen to it more than you listen to anyone else’s.
Even if it says hoard wood, and hide money under the mattress.
It’s ok, if it makes you feel safe while you wait for a better day to come.
With better days coming,
Christina
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