I have always been fascinated in the reasons behind the connections we make with specific people in our life.
Why we marry someone who ends up hurting us.
Why we find it hard to move on from a relationship that is not good for us.
The list of my questions on the topic of destiny and the soul is very long.
So when I saw the following question come to the stars, I had to answer it.
I believe in the concept of soul contracts but I would like to know more about them.
If we made a contract to reincarnate and work with another soul, and the outcome was a devastating loss, how can I figure out what the personal lesson is that I am supposed to learn from the pain and suffering that comes from the loss?
As you know, a soul contract, the way it is defined in our culture, is an agreement that we make with another soul before we are born in order to progress our growth while in this lifetime.
When I first heard of this I was a little mad at myself for agreeing to so much pain.
As a matter of fact I didn’t want to believe that it was true.
My response was ‘“what is the science behind something like this?” You see, I went on a journey years ago to find out this very question you asked for myself.
The Webster dictionary defines soul as “the immortal essence, animating principle, or an activating cause of an individual life”.
The timeless soul activates the individual life or many lives.
And as Carl Jung said “There is no coming to consciousness without pain.
People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own soul.
One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”
Making the darkness conscious.
Just writing and thinking this hurts a little.
But, my dear anonymous, to answer your question about what is the personal lesson that you are supposed to learn from the pain and suffering that comes from loss, I want to say this:
Grief is an evolutionary experience when used as fuel for activating this very individual life. You are now more compassionate towards others and you have more empathy towards the ones who are going through loss.
These are the universal lessons of grief.
We all collectively become better people through suffering. Unless of course grief is attached more to ego, more to the self, then the contract is about lessening the ego and letting grief teach us.
But here is where things get a little more individual.
The pain you are feeling is altering your behavior, and your personality and we need to pay attention to what is changing.
It is like a new season is coming in, one that you have never experienced before.
It is not winter or summer, spring or fall. It is something new.
Something you could have never felt without the devastating pain.
For me, when my husband died the level of pain I experienced shocked me.
I was so angry. Angry with the world.
Jealous of the world around me, or anyone who was not going through so much pain, so early on in life. Why me? Why not them?
I saw a darker side of me. One I could not have seen without the lesson of grief in my own life.
There were many more lessons that took place over the last ten years.
Here is an exercise you can do to find out about your lessons.
Grab a piece of paper and write down all the things you learned about yourself since the loss.
Be very determined to write this list.
At first there might be some resistance towards writing things down.
Once you become aware of your own lessons the next step is a little harder.
Reach out to a friend you love, and trust and ask them to tell you how they think you have changed after the loss. You want to be able to witness the change of any darkness that was there before the loss and of any darkness that is present now.
We have to eliminate it, see it, learn from it and above all witness our own growth through this.
After all, our soul came here to advance and without seeing the darkness transform into light it cannot do it.
One of my favorite books about soul’s purpose and journey is ‘Journey of Souls.’ The author, Michael Newton talks about being a part of ‘a soul cluster group, a small primary unity of entities who have direct and frequent contact such as we see in a human family.’ The people we lose all belong in this cluster and we are all more or less at the same level. Newton has studied people’s past lives for many years and he came to some very significant conclusions. He writes in his book that ‘the average number of souls in these inner circle groups is around fifteen. Members of the same cluster group are closely united for all eternity.’ He also mentions that they have common objectives. Because of this point Newton is making about the commonalities, I want to add a third question for you.
What were some commonalities you had with the person you lost?
There lives the truth of some of your lessons.
Something the person you lost also struggled with.
Here is a quick recap for this exercise.
- Write down the changes you have gone through since your loss.
- Ask a friend to share with you what they have seen change within you.
- Look for the commonalities between you and the person you lost.
And dear anonymous, remember that you have access to your higher self.
Ask for answers and be open to receiving them.
In my search for answers I could not find much science around soul contracts, and lessons and that is ok.
Science has proven in the last few years that the soul exists many times.
I will do a whole other Star Letter on this.
But science that proves soul contracts and how we can learn from them is much harder to track down. Possibly non existent.
Take the time to make darkness more conscious, so the lesson can truly take place and your soul can advance to higher grounds.
For those of you out there who don’t believe in reincarnation or soul contracts being a part of our journey of evolution I think it’s ok. Doubting is part of the journey from darkness to light.
Christina Rasmussen is the creator and founder of The Life Reentry® Institute, Second Firsts, The Life Starters and Star Letters. Christina is on a crusade to help millions of people rebuild, reclaim, and relaunch their lives using the power of their own minds. Christina’s work has been featured on ABC News, NPR, The White House Blog, and MariaShriver.com. She is the bestselling author of Second Firsts: Live, Laugh, and Love Again, which has also been translated in Chinese and German and is currently working on her second book on expanding the mind in ways that allows co creation with the forces of the universe. She is also writing her first work of fiction: a science fiction story about a woman on a quest to start over and begin a new life.