Something magical happens when you stop caring about what others think of you. 

You start to taste a level of freedom that questions all of your past decisions. 

It changes your interactions with people. 

Your conversations with your boss. 

Your friends. 

The whole ecosystem around you. 

The other day, I met someone ‘important.’ 

Semi famous.

He was so used to people being excited around him. 

Half way through my conversation I noticed that he was nervous. 

And I noticed something about myself too. 

I was a little bored with our conversation. 

I didn’t care about his fame. 

I was ready to be done with our meeting. 

I had no interest. 

Of course I didn’t show it to him, but he knew.

He knew.  

It is hard to hide indifference. 

That evening, I sat on my favorite chair at home and started to process what happened. 

You see, I had spent my whole life trying to prove my value, my worthiness. 

I sought validation from everyone. 

Especially people with influence. 

But now, it is like someone just took the ‘I care what others think’ feeling out of my heart. 

I could suddenly hear all the way inside the universe. 

When you don’t need to be somebody else. 

It is like sitting down inside your own body.

And marveling at yourself. 

And if you are thinking what does this have to do with grief and loss. 

Well, everything. 

Grief hides the true you when you are in pain. 

It is so much easier to please the world and copy what is out on display vs what is hiding inside of you. (Click to tweet!)

For me, 2019 has been a year of unexpected evolution towards a self that I can respect. 

I think of women like Georgia O’Keefe, Yayoi Kusama, Sophie Scholl, Harriet Tubman.

And I am running towards them so fast yelling, one day I will become. 

I will become like you, relentlessly yourselves. 

Abundantly unique. 

Ridiculously indifferent towards anyone else’s opinions about the way you lived your lives. 

Who will you become when you stop caring about what others think of you? 

What shall I call you? 

You can call me Georgia. 

With many names but one inner view,

Christina

P.S. Join me this March in Northern California, it will be a life altering, life bending adventure with not only the people in the room but with the people we loved and lost. REGISTER HERE: https://www.1440.org/programs/faculty-led-programs/personal-growth/self-discovery/temple-journey

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