Happiness is personal.
A journey, as unique as the way you look.
As rare as a doppelganger, as surprising as a few people in the world that look like you. It is the same with happiness.
We have very quirky ways of experiencing happiness.
For instance, when I say I love the color of the sea water, there is a particular shade of blue that makes me happy.
It takes place when the light hits the water early in the morning, about an hour after sunrise.
I feel joy in that moment that I can’t feel any other time of the day while next to the water.
I also find happiness when I am holding a book, just holding it.
Even more than reading it.
And if I pair it with a cup of coffee between 6:00 to 6:30am then it’s true bliss.
The silence of that early hour does something to my soul and it cannot be experienced in the same way later on, even if I hold that same book and drink coffee from that same mug.
You see, the more loss you have experienced the more tailored your happiness will need to be. But we can have the same losses, the same stories, the same heartbreaks.
We may visit the same places. Walk the same roads. Look at the same views. But our feelings of happiness will not be found at the same exact moment, as everyone else’s.
Don’t look for it there.
Go after your own version of what feels good.
Even if it is a half painted wall in your kitchen.
Or a chair with 5 legs.
Maybe even a dish made of plain spaghetti.
Whatever it is, remember anything that mimics the five legged chair or the coffee mug you love won’t cut it. It won’t make you feel the things you need to feel.
Now let’s say we take this point of view to finding someone new to love.
It is hard to meet someone you can fall head over heels for when we don’t pay attention to the peculiar ways in which we can fall in love.
Maybe who you find attractive is someone with an interesting smell, or someone who wears old burgundy coats from thrift shops. Who knows.
Just make sure you notice your own peculiarities so you can find your way to the happiness that occupies them. Tell yourself about the chairs with five legs and the books that like to be held and not read.
Oh and don’t forget to visit a thrift shop along the way.
Just in case.
With 6:00am coffee and book holding,