The Morning’s Blanket
I wake around 5:30am every morning. Sometimes earlier. It feels calm that early. As if nothing is wrong. Silence feels like a blanket. As time goes by, I start hearing the birds chirping. We have some Blue Jays, Cardinals, and Red-Bellied Woodpeckers in our backyard. They sing to each other every morning as if nothing […]
Is this You?
When we were born, we should have been taught about ourselves. Our parents should have asked ‘who are you?’ before they asked, “is this your mommy?” Or ‘is this your daddy?” It should have been ‘is this you?’ while placing us in front of a mirror. Then as our bodies grew just a little, they […]
The Amateurs of Grief
I am finally understanding why blanket statements such as grief lasts forever are hurtful. These statements hijack the truth of what it really means to grieve. What really happens to us when we grieve for years? What changes in our brain? In our immune system. In our heart. Who do we become? When amateurs say […]
The Unbridging
I wonder, are we born people pleasers? Or do we become them later on, trying to avoid pain. Pain of any kind. Disappointment. Being ignored by a friend. Maybe we sacrifice our lives so we can be seen for brief moments. When we bend over backwards for someone who doesn’t really care for us. We […]
The Cast Iron Plate
I struggle when people unexpectedly put things on my plate. Balancing my own daily chores is more than enough. When one more thing is added to that plate, it can derail me. It can even take me down to a dark world. I used to judge myself when I felt like I could not handle […]
If Only We Were Told From The Start That We Were Imperfect
If only we were told from the start that we were imperfect. That we could not strike the right cord unless we tried many times. If only we knew that we were made unevenly. With brush strokes that were coming from darkness, in the middle of empty space. If only we knew we were never […]
Denial Is A Stage of Grief, Didn’t You Know?
Oh, dear world. I know you are crying. I know you are suffering. I know you are feeling stuck. Imprisoned. Helpless. During this virus outbreak. I know. But don’t doubt it’s reality just so you can pause on the crying. Don’t listen to people saying it’s not bad enough. Tell them. Tell them. They are […]
The Good, the Bad and The Unexpected of Our Times
In many ways, I feel like I can see your everyday life even more clearly than before. It is almost as if I have a window in your living room and you have a window in mine. We are virtual roommates and the whole world is rooming together. Living in unison. And even though we […]
The Couch Is Not As Safe As It Seems
Something has been on my mind for a few days now. I know you have seen the comments made on social media about how we should be grateful that we are only being asked to stay at home, instead of fighting the war. Well, these kinds of statements are very dangerous to our mental health. […]
Where We really Are, Is Inside The Waiting Room
It was fall 2007, in Massachusetts, the leaves were starting to change, and everything was looking almost eternal. Nearly perfect. It was then, when I took on a full time job after the loss of my 35 year old husband making sure I could pay my bills, take care of my kids. Building a new […]