The Losing of Oneself.
I think it’s nostalgia. That sweet feeling made out of longing. Remembering the days at the beach, in our youthfulness. Laughter echoing in the sand, staying present in everything. The younger we were, the less real the past was. The less needy we were of the future. We just naturally stayed in the moment, without […]
14 Years Later. What an honor it’s been.
There are so many things to say about what it feels like 14 years after his loss. When it comes to loss of this kind, time is confusing. It’s almost as if his passing shoved me out of my body too. It just took me out of the direct experience of living. It placed me […]
The Family Makers
Lately, it has felt as if we have all died and went to some kind of afterlife, where we are all stuck at home. Alone. This type of interruption of life, seems almost unearthly. We can’t breathe the air. We can’t hug people. We can’t travel. We have postponed relationships. Dreams. Building new houses. Moving. […]
The Garden
When the world threw weeds at you, You started planting roses. When the people told you it’s all over, You started your garden. You never planted anything before, but you knew you had to. You started with new soil. Water. And some seeds. Kneeling down, clipping and cutting the weeds, knowing it was the only […]
You Are So Here For It
If there is one thing I want you to know during these uncertain times is that no matter what happens, this is your life. I have really thought about this a lot during the last few months. What if someone I love dies? What if I get really sick from this virus? What if. One […]
Walking Across The Rooftops
I have missed having the freedom to get on a plane to go to the ocean. Hike in my favorite trails in Sedona. Visit my dad in Greece for his 80th birthday last weekend. I was supposed to be there. It reminds me of how life used to be before we had cars and planes. […]
The Forest
I was dreaming last night that I was writing to you. I could see the words, the sentences being written. But, I woke up this morning and I could not remember what I wrote to you. I know it had to do with how our world is right now. It had to do with giving […]
The Morning’s Blanket
I wake around 5:30am every morning. Sometimes earlier. It feels calm that early. As if nothing is wrong. Silence feels like a blanket. As time goes by, I start hearing the birds chirping. We have some Blue Jays, Cardinals, and Red-Bellied Woodpeckers in our backyard. They sing to each other every morning as if nothing […]
Is this You?
When we were born, we should have been taught about ourselves. Our parents should have asked ‘who are you?’ before they asked, “is this your mommy?” Or ‘is this your daddy?” It should have been ‘is this you?’ while placing us in front of a mirror. Then as our bodies grew just a little, they […]
The Amateurs of Grief
I am finally understanding why blanket statements such as grief lasts forever are hurtful. These statements hijack the truth of what it really means to grieve. What really happens to us when we grieve for years? What changes in our brain? In our immune system. In our heart. Who do we become? When amateurs say […]