The Bag Carrier

February 21, 2020 | IN CHRISTINA'S BLOG/POSTS | BY christina

They will grab your arm as you are walking down the street minding your own business. 

They will yank it a little, not too much at first. 

When you don’t stop walking, they will jump in front of you loudly speaking. 

Forcing you to stop and listen to their expectations of you. 

You see, they are used to you carrying their bags. 

Taking on some of their responsibilities on top of yours. 

After all, you have carried their bags before. 

You told them it was ok to do so. Didn’t you? 

You even smiled while they yanked your arm. 

And told them not to worry. You got this. You are that strong, that capable. 

But today, this time around you won’t pick up the bags they dropped at your feet. 

You go around them so you can keep walking. 

You don’t need to prove yourself anymore. 

They try to drop them off again, stopping you from that walk of yours. 

You see them. You wave. And once again, you move on. 

Without their bags. 

Without their drama and certainly without their responsibilities. 

The other day, I got an email from someone pointing out how he expected me to ‘carry more of their bags than I was already carrying.’ 

This person went on to tell me that because I did not carry their bags they are feeling the heat. 

They then said, that they were grateful I was such a good bag carrier, but they expected 4 more bags being carried by me. 

I stayed with that for a while. 

My normal response would have been apologetic, friendly even. 

Feeling that I have failed them. 

I would have been desperately trying to find a way to add their bags on top of mine so I don’t disappoint them. 

Look, I can carry 4 more bags. Let me show you.

Let me prove it to you. 

Let me convince you that I am a strong bag carrier so you can invite me again to carry your heavy bags. So you are not mad at me. 

So you can still think I am that special. 

Well, I decided to keep going without their extra 4 bags. 

I carried what I thought was mine to carry and left the rest. 

I thanked them for letting me know that there were 4 more bags I should have picked up and went my merry way. 

Of course when you stop saying yes to other people’s expectations of you, they won’t go down without a fight. 

Without sulking. Without the silent treatment. 

The list is long. 

But you are worth the fight. 

You are worth the respect. 

Enough is enough. (Click to tweet!)

You no longer need to prove to anyone else how very special you are. 

With less bags and more self respect,

Christina

P.S. We will be getting closer to heaven on March 20th, come away with me. 

Register here: https://www.1440.org/programs/faculty-led-programs/personal-growth/self-discovery/temple-journey

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