Three Seconds of Courage

January 29, 2021

Birds are brave.  Not because they fly too high, but because they fly too close.  Too close to our homes and us.  In the last few days I have had so many birds get close to my windows.  They fly, they stay for a few seconds and then they fly away.  I realized that this is how courage may look like for birds.  They step close to the edge for a few seconds and then return to comfort, which for them, is the sky. I learned that courage looks very different for every person.  For every single one of us courage reflects the many pieces of our story.  It is as unique as our DNA.  Courage for you today may look like simply walking outside to take a deep breath.  For someone else, courage is responding to a text from an ex husband after years of silence. Courage could be putting on a dress you last wore at a dinner with the person you loved and lost. It could be playing the piano for the first time since you were a kid.  Courage is not always the gigantic leap of faith but a quiet step towards the other side of your personal version of fear. (Click to tweet!) Being brave can never be compared with someone else’s kind of brave.  What is considered courageous to you could be a walk in the park for someone else.  That should never make you think that you are not brave.  You are brave when you choose to take a shower after days of not having the strength to do so.  When you choose to respond to an email that has been waiting in your inbox for weeks.  When you get up in the morning knowing it will be a hard day and you get up regardless.  When you look at an old photo even though it breaks your heart.  For someone who is in constant pain every day, courage may look like just simply opening their eyes and breathing and deciding to take another breath regardless of how difficult the first one was.  Courage sometimes is simply the ability to step inside your own pain and stand in it for three seconds before you step out.  These three seconds make you brave. You better not forget that.  Today, tomorrow or every day after that.    With many unforgettable three second courage intervals, Christina P.S. Listen to this week’s podcast with the magical SARK here.

Read More
0 Comments.

Don’t Label How You Feel With Basic Words

January 22, 2021

Lately, it feels like every day introduces us to a new intense feeling, doesn't it? One of the reasons why everything feels more intense than what intensity normally feels like, is because we are experiencing feelings we haven’t felt before. There is a spectrum of emotions inside sadness. And a spectrum of emotions inside joy. We have thousands of variables when it comes to human feelings. But yet, we only talk about the very basic parts of them. We feel sad, upset, confused, good, bad, happy, angry, etc. Human emotions are so much more complex than that. When we feel something we don’t have words for, we just label it with the basics. Instead, we need to sit down and write in great detail how we feel. All the many ways we feel fear. The smallest ways and the biggest ways. Don’t dismiss the invisible, complex and seemingly small feelings. Promise? And don’t dismiss the moments of grief you felt that had nothing to do with the grief you normally feel. Stay with that newfound grief when you feel it. When you tell someone about it. Single out the strangeness of your grief, the mystery of what it feels like and do the best you can to find the words to describe it. If words are not enough. Paint it. Draw it. Move your body to it. Cry it. Scream it. Do whatever you need to do, to express it. Never keep it in the quietness of the inner world. It gets lost there if we don’t call it out. It is how the heaviness sets in. How anxiety finds us. Depression too. You see, emotions are a part of you as much as your arms and legs are. They need their own space. Their own words. And their own names. (Click to tweet!) Even joy when not expressed can become a burden and make us feel isolated and why the uniqueness of your experience this week must be shared. Promise? With beautifully expressed complexity of emotion, Christina

Read More
0 Comments.

The Big Rock Between Us

January 15, 2021

We are so alone. Aren’t we? Inside the chaos, the uncertainty. The longing.  We find ourselves in a crowd of strangers. Especially now. Right in the midst of much friction.  Alternate realities within that same relationship, of mothers and fathers.  Sisters and brothers. Husbands and wives.  Friends for decades before, under so many moons, find themselves in conflict of one another.  Losing each other within different stories of the same thing.  What must we do? Where is it that we can turn to?  How do we even go on, ignoring the alternate story that plays in the midst of us. (Click to tweet!) Do we forget the love? The moons? The stories before this one?  Do we stay, regardless of the new rock forming in between.  Do we linger with bare feet knowing it hurts. Do we share the rock.  The being with it all, until it goes. Until it is forgotten.  Until the old comes back, without the strain of it.  Do we stay until then. Do we quiet down the fight?  Stop the loss from happening? Can we? Must we?  What would our parents say? The grandparents.  What did they do in the early and mid 1900s when these things happened then...too.  Did they part ways when the rocks came in between?  When the fights about things started? Someone must know.  Someone can tell us how to be with the people we love whom we don’t agree with.  Oh dear one, I know this is a hard one.  But I think what you choose to do with the new rock in your relationship is going to be right. Trust the choice you will make.  There is no right or wrong answer about any of this. There is no advice.  Nobody can say what needs to happen. The only thing we must do is look for the lessons, whether the choice is to stay or go.  Whether we forgive or not.  It is what we learned that matters in the end.  When all is said and done, we will only remember the lessons of that rock in between.  If a cherished relationship is falling apart in the midst of this current climate, trust yourself and make the decision that is right for you.  Grab a pen and paper and write down the things you learned during these last few months, specifically the last couple of weeks.  Be clear, and then choose how to go about the relationship that is hurting you.  Trust yourself with whatever decision you make.  It will be the right one.    With a lot of lessons inside many relationships, Christina  P.S. And I so hope you get a chance to listen to this week’s Dear Life Podcast conversation with Medium Jamie Butler. Listen HERE.  *Music I listened to while writing this letter ‘The Way We Were’ By Barbara Streisand

Read More
0 Comments.

Sitting With You

January 8, 2021

I have to be honest.  It is a hard day to write.  I am sitting here looking for the words and the events of the last couple of days are interfering with my thoughts.  So, just like always, I am telling you what’s here, what wants to be written.  The chaos of our country feels like a robbery inside my mind.  When this letter started to come through yesterday morning, before the events of January 6th it was writing words about something completely different.  Once the harsh moments played out on our TVs, the words were taken away.  What took place, in a sense hijacked my creativity and productivity.  I know that the noise will quiet down at some point, it will leave us.  But until then we have to be present with the truth and what we are truly feeling. I am not going to bypass the noise so I can sound inspiring and positive.  I will sit inside of it with you.  Speaking our truth to each other, for better or for worse.  What I have learned about life is that, once we start to run away from our truths we can never stop running.  So here I am. Here you are.  Sitting together in the midst of a world that is hurting.  I wish it was different, and I wish I was writing a different letter.  But somehow, even just writing what is here lessened the noise.  I can hear the quiet a little better. I hope it brought you something too.  I am proud of us for not running away looking for an easy fix and a positive spin.  It never lasts long or goes deep enough.  May this next week bring more of us together in truth, in good company (even virtually) and in healing.    With honesty, Christina

Read More
0 Comments.

Sign up to receive Christina’s Message in a bottle every Friday